The Thronies: Game of Thrones Season 8 Awards

The Thronies: Game of Thrones Season 8 Awards

We’ve all had the debate before: Who’s the greatest hero of Season 8? The most stylish character? And which moment had you screaming, “WTF!?” It’s time to settle this once and for all with the Second Annual Shat on TV Thronie Awards!

Click here to vote or read below if you need some help making up your mind.

BEST DRESSED

Amid the Fire and Blood, “Game of Thrones” brought us breathtaking gowns, armor, and hairdos. And Season 8 seemed to revel in making the outside match what was happening inside. We saw shifts in color, transformations from diplomacy to war, and even Jaime Lannister in some drab rags. So who wore their best the best? The nominees are …

The Night King

He hails from an ancient time. He lives in a desolate, frozen tundra. He is the living embodiment of death. But still The Night King takes the time to fashion his own armor, weapons, and that weird flesh crown. Also, did you catch his arts and crafts at Last Hearth? Fabulous!

Cersei Lannister

Cersei has been a “Game of Thrones” fashion icon since day one, and her outfits seem to reflect the zeitgeist of King’s Landing. Early on, it’s flowing gowns and bright Lannister colors. In Season 8, it’s stoic armor and heavy fabrics. And, of course, there was that weird Faith Militant phase. But through it all, even the mom hair, Cersei’s been breathtaking.

Daenerys Targaryen

Drogon must have a luggage compartment somewhere, because the Mother of Dragons always arrives in style. We’re not sure her armor is functional, but Dany has emerged from every battle unscathed. Whether she’s wrapped in white furs up north or black scale down south, we bow down to that fire.

Sansa Stark

Sansa had two looks in Season 8, and both were stunning. There was the black leather armor  and “needle” necklace she wore through most episodes: combative, fierce, and reminiscent of Cersei and Littlefinger. And there was the gown she wore once crowned Queen of the North: a rich tapestry of her history and the legacy of her land. Remember that Sansa is a seamstress, so bonus points for doing her own work.

Ser Gregor Clegane

It wasn’t pretty, but The Mountain’s armor was unmistakable. Some compared it to a medieval tank. Some compared it to Darth Vader, especially when the helmet came off. The idea was to strike fear in the heart of anyone who threatened Cersei (and also hide the fact dude was undead).

BEST PROP

George R. R. Martin’s imagination and HBO’s designers teamed up to bring us unforgettable symbols of death, power, and beauty. Which Game of Thrones prop was the best?

The Iron Throne

What prop could be more important than the seat that summarized “Game of Thrones” for 8 seasons? The Iron Throne was both the beginning and the end for so many characters’ aspirations. Why anyone would want to sit on a chair made of melted swords is beyond us.

Arya’s Catspaw dagger

We first saw the Catspaw dagger when an assassin attempted to kill Bran in his sleep. Cat Stark retrieved it from the attack and showed it to pretty much everyone before giving it to Ned, who promptly lost it to Lord Baelish. Sonofabitch. Then Littlefinger gives it to Bran, who says “What am I supposed to do with a dagger?” and hands it to someone very good with daggers: Arya Stark. And we all know where it went from there. Stabby stabby Mr. Crabby.

Jon Snow’s Longclaw

No, Longclaw did not magically come to life in Season 7. And no, it didn’t end up killing the Night King. But Jon Snow’s sword has done serious work in this series, from Battle of the Bastards to The Long Night. From Hardhome to King’s Landing. The Mormont house sword stands for bravery, resilience, and The North.

Cersei’s wine goblet

Lena Headey, who played Cersei Lannister, reportedly earned $144,000 per minute for “Game of Thrones” Season 8. And she didn’t have to ride a dragon, swing a sword, or die on camera. Instead, she just stared from a balcony while holding arguably the most famous wine goblet in TV history.

Joffrey’s crossbow

Like an old friend just looking for another Lannister to kill, Joffrey’s comically large crossbow re-appeared in Season 8 when Bronn of The Blackwater was hired to assassinate Tyrion and Jaime. Of course, he didn’t. And suddenly he was Master of Coin! Still kinda wanted to see someone, ANYONE get shot by that beautiful contraption.

Qyburn’s Scorpion 2.0 ballista

Speaking of contraptions, Qyburn’s anti-dragon weapon got an upgrade in Season 8. And apparently making the Scorpion 2.0 gigantic also made it impossible accurate. Until it wasn’t. Still, for a minute, we were really scared of those things. Until we weren’t.

The Dothraki

Need fighters to fatally demonstrate the futility of hurtling into an abyss filled with undead soldiers? Use the Dothraki. Need to demonstrate the horrors invading forces unleash upon civilians caught in the crossfire? Use the Dothraki. Want some hollering in the back rows of your pep rally? Use The Dothraki. They’re a multi-purpose prop that conveniently disappears after their Queen has been stabbed through the chest.

BIGGEST WTF MOMENT

Season 8 felt a bit rushed. Logic became a bit more flexible, and certain moments just made us sit up and say, “What the fuck?” What was your Biggest WTF Moment?

Sam Tarly’s performance in “The Long Night”

Women, elderly, and children and Tyrion into the crypts! Only fighters allowed on the battlements to defend Winterfell against the Night King! Oh, and I guess we’ll let Sam Tarly help. Surely, he won’t keep falling down and crying. People could end up dead trying to protect him!

Grey Worm not killing Jon Snow

Missandei taught Grey Worm to live for himself, unshackling him from his Unsullied training (and his helmet, apparently). Seeing her executed atop the walls of King’s Landing changed Grey Worm, and we saw it as he mercilessly slaughtered surrendered Lannister soldiers on Dany’s orders. So, when Jon Snow killed Daenerys, Grey Worm did exactly what we would expect: He calmly imprisoned Jon Snow, wrote ravens to the surrounding kingdoms, imposed order in King’s Landing, then delivered Tyrion to the Kingsmoot for a polite conversation about the realm’s future. Seems much more likely that killing the man who just stabbed your queen while she was trying to love on him.

Euron’s ambush of Rhaegal

Modern anti-aircraft systems have struggled with pinpoint accuracy when it comes to hitting a moving target at sea, relying instead on volume of fire to blanket the sky in bullets and flak. Computer guidance has made things a bit easier, but aircraft still have the upper hand. Yet somehow a ship-mounted ballista with no visible aiming mechanism scored three direct and vital hits on a dragon at great distance. Sure, Rhaegal was exhausted and injured from The Long Night, but how do you explain Euron’s entire fleet appearing from out of nowhere AFTER the first three Scorpion 2.0 bolts were fired? Inconceivable!

Jaime Lannister returning to Cersei

“Game of Thrones” fans watched for eight seasons as Jaime Lannister transformed from arrogant rich boy to defender of the living. As Big D said, we found ourselves cheering for a man who crippled a boy to cover up an incestuous love affair with the Queen. And that long journey seemed to culminate in Jaime finally falling in love with Brienne of Tarth, and awkward woman warrior deemed unlovable and ugly by so many before him. But as the series closed, Jaime abandoned Brienne and returned to his evil queen of a sister, who also happened to be sleeping with gross-ass Euron Greyjoy.

Infinite Dothraki and Unsullied

The Dothraki charged valiantly into the dark battlefield of “The Long Night.” And viewers thought, “Oh, well they’re all gone now.” The Unsullied suffered heavy casualties in that same battle and appeared largely decimated as we saw the massacre inside Winterfell’s walls. But after the Night King was vanquished, we learned that roughly half of Daenerys’ forced remained. HALF! Giving “Game of Thrones” the benefit of the doubt, we accepted that number and were baffled again as Daenerys gathered her victorious forces outside The Red Keep. Soldiers and riders as far as the eye could see. Guess they just grow up really fast.

Snow in King’s Landing

Big D thought the precipitation falling from the sky and covering King’s Landing in Episode 6, “The Iron Throne,” was ash from Drogon’s assault Gene agreed. But many viewers wrote in to ask how the hell it was snowing just hours after Euron had to shield his eyes from the summer sun as Daenerys’ attacked the fleet in Blackwater Bay. And it turns out their question was a good one. Joanna Robinson of Vanity Fair confirmed: that was snow. Perhaps the Starks should change their motto to “Nuclear winter is coming.”

Hiding from the Army of the Dead in the Winterfell Crypts

Hiding underground isn’t uncommon when faced with a massive military attack. But when that attack is coming from the Army of the Dead, who can RAISE THE DEAD, hiding in a crypt seems like a really bad idea. And yet Tyrion Lannister and Sansa Stark, reportedly two of the sharpest minds in Westeros, didn’t foresee generations of Stark corpses coming to life and threatening women and children. Perhaps Tyrion and Sansa knew that one season before, a wight captured north of The Wall couldn’t even escape a wooden box, therefore there’s no way centuries-old ghouls could burst out from stone tombs. They must have forgotten they were in Season 8 of “Game of Thrones.”

BEST DEATH

“Game of Thrones” really should have been titled “Who’s Gonna Die This Week?” and Season 8 had an impressive body count. Who’s death was the most satisfying or impactful?

The Brothers Clegane

“Game of Thrones” went full WWE for this one. We got eye-poking, armor stripping, shoulder stabbing, and one incredible leap off the top ropes! Plus, The Hound stayed true to character the whole time.

Rhaegal

That was … a lot of blood. “Top Gun” fans know the heartbreak of seeing that fatal splash at sea, and the entire thing was so sudden that it left audiences reeling.

Lady Lyanna Mormont

The fiercest lady in the north demanded to do battle at Winterfell, refusing to take shelter in the crypt. And when faced with an undead giant, she stood her ground and fought like a true Mormont, killing an adversary 20 times her size.

Melisandre of Asshai

If you’re gonna die, try dying like Melisandre: Show up at a critical time, let everyone who wants to kill you know you’re going to die on your own, save the day, then walk away and crumble to dust. Boss.

Beric Dondarrion

Talk about a death that was long overdue! Beric Dondarrion was playing “Game of Thrones” on cheat mode until he ran out of extra lives. When all of Winterfell was collapsing and hope was lost, he kept fighting and used his body to shield his comrades.

Euron Greyjoy

Did anyone NOT want to see this guy die?

Daenerys Targaryen

We watched her grow up, break chains, fulfill her destiny, and perish in the arms of her lover. Few “Game of Thrones” deaths were as heartbreaking as saying goodbye to the greatest source of hope we had known through eight seasons. Dany was slain at the peak of her optimism by the man we considered a hero. Tragedy all around.

The Night King

He was untouchable. He was unbeatable. And no man stood a chance against him. Thankfully, Arya was there to leap from the shadows and trick flip the Catspaw dagger up in this blue summabitch.

Ser Jorah Mormont

When Ser Jorah softly told his khaleesi, “I’m hurt,” the tears started flowing for this exiled knight who steadfastly served a woman who never would love him as he did her. Jorah stood brave in battle, continuing the fight outside Winterfell’s walls, his honor restored by wielding Heartsbane and serving in the vanguard of the living.

The Golden Company

Losers.

Missandei of Naath

Missandei represented kindness, peace, and diplomacy. And her senseless killing was a rejection of all those ideals. Beheaded on the wall of King’s Landing, she had seen Cersei Lannister’s cruel heart and had one final word for her khaleesi and her lover: Dracarys.

Jaime and Cersei Lannister

It’s a twofer! To Cersei, nothing mattered more than family. And to Jaime, nothing mattered more than Cersei. He died falling short of redemption, and she died under the weight of the city she ruled. Their child would never draw breath.

Theon Greyjoy

“You’re a good man.” Theon found his peace (and killed a shit-ton of wights) during his last stand in the Winterfell godswood. He would never be king of anything, but he lived to rise above being an embarrassment to the Iron Born and Starks.

THICKEST PLOT ARMOR

Game of Thrones” taught us early on that anyone can die at any time. Well, except for our favorite characters, who are invincible. Plot armor was a big issue on Season 8. Whose was thickest?

Arya Stark

Arya’s death-dodging was pretty incredible, even if you get beyond the fact she crowdsurfed dozens of wights in “The Long Night.” She basically did a half marathon during Daenerys’ attack on King’s Landing and survived the fire and brimstone that killed LITERALLY everyone around her.

Drogon

His brother was killed by an ice javelin. His other brother was killed by Scorpion bolts fired from a ship. But Drogon manages to weave his way through an entire fleet of Scorpion ships in broad daylight, then proceed to take our every anti-dragon defense in King’s Landing without a scratch. Guess that’s why he’s the last dragon alive

Samwell Tarly

Sam basically took a nap during “The Long Night,” and not a single wight had the decency to give him a good chomp.

Jaime Lannister

Gene did the math, and King’s Landing is miles wide. Jaime would have needed to jog several miles to Cersei after being fatally stabbed by Euron Greyjoy. And those miles would have had stairs. And flames. And falling debris. Whatever.

Jon Snow

Remember when Jon was standing in a field of the dead, and they all started to rise, and he was surrounded? Dany didn’t rescue him immediately. Dude somehow fought for a bit. And then he survived an undead Viserion by hiding behind stones and … yelling?

Ser Brienne of Tarth

OK, we counted like a half dozen times that we saw Brienne COVERED in wights. And then she wasn’t. And then she was again. Until she wasn’t. Look, anyone in the front line defending Winterfell is straight-up dead.

Grey Worm

By the end, dude didn’t even need his helmet anymore. Plot armor got Grey Worm through “The Long Night” and “The Bells.” He’s unstoppable.

Tormund Giantsbane

See Brienne of Tarth.

BEST EPISODE

Season 8’s six extra-length episodes spanned from massive battles to intimate moments. We saw romance, hate, healing, and devastation. Which episode was your favorite, overall?

Episode 1: Winterfell

The gang returns from a long break! Jon and Dany go on Disney dragon ride. Night King wall art. Northerners are like, “ummmm.” Lotsa reunions!

Episode 2: A Knight of The Seven Kingdoms

Brienne is knighted. Arya gets her first taste of sex. Farewells are said as we set the table for battle.

Episode 3: The Long Night

The longest battle scene ever filmed. Arya kills the Night King. The Mormonts are wiped out.

Episode 4: The Last of The Starks

Jon reveals his secret to Sansa and Arya. And then it’s not a secret anymore. Jaime sleeps with Brienne, then bails. Rhaegal dies. Nobody pets Ghost.

Episode 5: The Bells

Daenerys torches Varys and King’s Landing. Loads of people die. Arya rides a horse.

Episode 6: The Iron Throne

Jon kills Dany and is sent to The Wall. Tyrion goes from prisoner to Hand of the King. King’s Landing hosts its first Kingsmoot. Grey Worm gets robbed. Sansa becomes queen of an independent north. Drogon peaces out.

MAN OF THE YEAR

“Game of Thrones” put our heroes to the test this season. Some triumphed, some failed, but all did their best. Win or lose, which human male character moved you the most?

Tormund Gaintsbane

Dude loved Brienne and Jon unconditionally and even was cool about Brienne not wanting him.

Ser Podrick Payne

Pod really grew up this season and was selected for the King’s Guard.

Sandor Clegane

The character most interested in self-preservation taught Arya that her life was worth saving. And he gave his life to destroy literally the worst guy in the world.

Tyrion Lannister

Tyrion tried his best to temper Daenerys’ fury and spare the people of King’s Landing. And despite years of mistreatment, he fostered a love for a family that didn’t always love him.

Bran Stark

He has the best story, duh. Bran survived a deadly fall, an assassin, an invasion, a trip north of The Wall, and the Night King. He also has Greensight and sorta just got elected king.

Jon Snow

Jon Snow either saved the Seven Kingdoms from a bloody and tyrannical rule, or he killed her lover and the realm’s one chance at peace, prosperity, and liberation. Either way, this guy rose from unwanted bastard to war hero and rightful heir to the Iron Throne. And now he’s living with a beardo roommate and a one-eared wolf.

Grey Worm

He said very little, but his actions meant a whole lot. Grey Worm fought valiantly, loved purely, and commanded the most powerful fighting force in the series. If it weren’t for this humble and brave soldier, Winterfell would have fallen and King’s Landing wouldn’t matter.

Ser Jorah Mormont

He led the first charge against the Army of the Dead and swung Heartsbane until the bitter end. Jorah Mormont left Westeros a disgraced slaver, survived the horrors of greyscale and returned as a beacon of honor to die in “The Long Night.”

Ser Jaime Lannister

Ser Jaime Lannister wasn’t a deserter, a coward, or a sadist. He was a conflicted man who recognized his own flaws and grew immensely as a person. His actions didn’t save Winterfell or King’s Landing, but his personal triumphs were tremendous.

Lord Varys

If ever there were an “I told you so!” Lord Varys tried everything he could, even sacrificing his own life, to protect the people of the realm from the fiery tyrant developing before his eyes. He stood for his execution and was graceful even when being burned alive.

WOMAN OF THE YEAR

“Game of Thrones” put our heroes to the test this season. Some triumphed, some failed, but all did their best. Win or lose, which human female character moved you the most?

Arya Stark

She killed the Night King, survived King’s Landing, and stayed true to herself when she could have become Lady Arya of Storm’s End. Arya Stark went from angry little girl to powerful little woman.

Queen Daenerys Stormborn

Daenerys started her life as exiled property and ended it as the most powerful queen the Iron Throne had ever seen. She raised three dragons, turned the tide at Winterfell, freed entire cities, and did what she could to return her house to power. When it comes to sheer force and willpower, nobody comes close.

Queen Sansa Stark

Sansa Stark set aside passion, vengeance, love, and pipe dreams to become the most grounded character in “Game of Thrones.” She questioned motives, stuck to her guns, and valued the North above all else. Thanks to Sansa, Winterfell won its independence and a queen fit to rule it.

Queen Cersei Lannister

The last Lannister to rule in King’s Landing, Cersei bravely and viciously defended her throne and the life of her unborn child. She wasn’t a hero to the rest of the kingdom, but you have to respect her defiance against the odds and sacrifices to give her city a fighting chance.

Ser Brienne of Tarth

The realm’s first woman knight stole our hearts with her innocent smile, tender heart, and ferocious blade. Brienne embodied all the best qualities in people, even testifying to Jaime Lannister’s honor after he abandoned her.

Lady Lyanna Mormont

She was tiny. Her screen time was limited, but Lyanna Mormont was the biggest badass Winterfell had ever seen. She reminded Jon Snow of his responsibilities to the North, and she refused to sit idly while a battle was brewing.

Melisandre of Asshai

If Melisandre hadn’t been there for Arya, our favorite assassin might have lost hope in “The Long Night.” If Melisandre hadn’t lit the trench, Winterfell’s forces would have been swarmed by unimpeded wights. And if the Red Preistess hadn’t lit the Dothraki’s arakhs, well, they’d probably still be alive.

Missandei of Naath

Missandei did not fight valiantly, rule a kingdom, or channel divine power. She used words, patience, and diplomacy to influence those around her. She was Daenerys’ communicator and Grey Worm’s liberator. Perhaps most importantly of all, she was the most balanced and inspiring character of color in “Game of Thrones.”

LEEROY JENKINS MEDAL OF HONOR

There’s bravery, and then there’s going full Leeroy Jenkins. “Game of Thrones” threw our favorite characters into the heat of battle, testing the mettle of each. Who was the bravest, the craziest, the master of war?

The Dothraki

They charged headlong into utter darkness, knowing the Army of the Dead was waiting. Who does that?

Drogon

Coming in from the top? Nah. Attacking King’s Landing at night? Forget about it. Drogon sees it, flies at it, and kills it. Even furniture.

Beric Dondarrion

You don’t die seven times without being a little reckless. Beric, at one point, literally uses his body as a shield. Hardcore.

Ghost

Only one brave soul opened the attack on the Army of the Dead without a horse. And that was a wolf. We’re not sure what Ghost was doing out there, but we know he lost an ear doing it. Now please someone pet that goodest boy.

Lady Lyanna Mormont

She ran AT AN UNDEAD GIANT, got crushed to death, and still stabbed him in the eye.

Grey Worm

Who goes inside Winterfell’s walls during “The Long Night,” then comes back out again to make sure fireworks launch on time? Only the biggest badass in the entire Unsullied army.

Theon Greyjoy

Some argue that Theon could have waited just a minute and been rescued by Arya’s divebomb attack on the Night King. But that’s not how Theon rolls. He’s all about that charge-you-with-a-spear life.

Arya Stark

Arya Stark routinely risked her life in Season 8, whether playing Salad Shooter on the Winterfell battlements or dashing through the streets of a crumbling King’s Landing. This woman will do anything for a good kill.

Ser Gregor Clegane

When your little brother shows up with the express goal of killing you, it might be time to retreat. But not for The Mountain. He abandoned his queen, his creator, and his own armor for one shot at Cleganebowl.

Cersei Lannister

Cersei had a million chances to flee King’s Landing, even when staring down a larger army with one enormous dragon. But she decided to go Leeroy, too.

Jon Snow

Giant field of zombies? Jon’s gonna run at it. Dragon spewing blue fire all over the Winterfell courtyard? Jon’s just gonna yell at it. If only he were this brave in the bedroom, we might have had a happy ending.

Tormund Giantsbane

“We’re all going to die.” We’re not sure Tormund ever was afraid during the Battle of Winterfell, but you don’t have to be afraid when you’re a Wildling berserker.

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