Cloris Leachman Is a Great Old Lady

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I can’t bite my tongue any more, the fans of this show are entitled to their opinion, but holy shit that opinion is wrong.

This whole show is lamedick attempt at building style flash and hype without any solid foundation. I feel the show runners saw in the source material a thin backdrop for a raw edgy sexy opportunity to throw Starz’ hat in the ring of premium cable series and holy shit do they fail.

Ricky Whittle sure is handsome and fit but how many’ seasons can we stand to watch his pinched “Bewildered/shocked tough guy” expression, He has no discernible personality and his reactions to the world he inhabits arent consistent. Sometimes hes standing around in befuddled silence, other times hes a sassy tough guy with a give no shits attitude. One moment hes fully accepted the fact that hes betting his life against a god with a bleeding hammer in a war of gods, new and old, the next moment his mind is blown by the image of Marilyn Monroe floating. I would think after what hes seen up to this point, that would be easily processed but he’s still marveling over it a whole episode later.

Lauras story has the potential to be the most realistic, the most human but instead they write her like a shitty Diablo Cody character full of machine gun quips and heavy handed sexual suggestion. The idea that this woman, miserable and completely disenchanted with her life, meets this dopey handsome stranger, but rather than bring thrills to her dull existence, her despair is only magnified. Imagine coming home from a long day at a job you hate enough to want to die to find your unemployed sig-nif-other sleeping on the couch. Thats real shit, thats a relatable and universally true interaction between two human hearts… But they skip over that shit like a flat stone and instead focus on bug spray because hey, she wants to die, isnt that fukkin’ crazy! They cheat themselves out of the most human elements of the story instead focusing on the extreme.

Side note to you fans: Any of you who think this show is emmy worthy after the toilet scene are fucking idiots. This was base lowest common denominator trash. TV for the artsy-est Fartsy-est juggalo-types amongst you.

Jesse Eisenberg Sucks, watching a guy doing a jesse eisenberg impression sucks worse.

The Gillian Anderson plays dressup gimmick, if it continues, is gonna be lame as shit… Id have awarded the show ten points if they’d dressed her up as Prince though… I mean if you wanna be topical and current get Topical and CURRENT!

Cloris Leachman is a great old lady.

The leprechaun is the lamest sterotype of irish who-gives-a-shit. If you find him entertaining I bet you chew with your mouth open.

People who complain about straying from the book are ridiculous. Why would you want a word for word repeat of something you already know. That would be boring as shit Instead, people should complain that this show ignores the most human and relateable aspects of this story, both within the bounds of the source material and the stuff that strays from the book (according to what youve told us, Im not going to read this shit) Instead it chooses to focus on creating this overly saturated visual imagery and overwrought musical score. The pace of every interaction is fucking TEDIOUS, as if the director said “Okay in this scene just try to look really intense for 7 minutes while we shoe-horn a saxaphone solo into this, because you know jazz is like the truest american form of music and we gotta beat people over the head with this because like the show is called AMERICAN Gods, so youve got America right? ‘Cause were in America and then like, saxaphones because, JAZZ dude” (if read on the cast, please do a dopey surfer douchebag voice for this portion, thank you)

The opening sequences to the episodes fall flat as well (aside from the Anansi sequence which I feel will stand as the high water mark of the show.)

Last episodes animated feature was flawed in too many ways, firstly I wasnt really sure what happened in it and why. Maybe I wasnt paying close enough attention but that in itself is a failing. I should be made to WANT to pay attention, and this just bored me, then theres some action, some food, some arrows I guess and something died and then they sum it up with “And this is how gods die, the power is yours” Its some real captain planet bullshit and they could have cut to that chase with a lot more clarity… Also the CGI was fucking dumb, you cant tell me that will all the CGI already in the show they couldnt have gotten some live actors in loincloths to act this out and make it a bit more cohesive than a devry computer animation class project that was submitted.

And this weeks episodes opener is great analogue for the entire series… You mix this very hot button topic with some sacred imagery to produce something that should provoke an intense reaction or some deeper response but ultimately it just falls flat. Oh hey, its jesus, oh hey the stigmata is a bullet hole. Oh hey, tumbleweed crown of thorns. cool (I cant “lowercase” these statements enough) But to WHAT FUCKING PURPOSE?!?! Quit showing off your ammunition and fire the fucking gun already.

These people. the showrunners, the actors, are playing with real sacred imagery that a truly religious person should hold near and dear to the deepest core of who they are. They have the ability to say something REAL and substantial with this material but instead heres a zombie girls tits and oh hey she likes anal sex, and she smells bad. You know this because the leprechaun tells her so about 6 times

Its so much base bullshit, its not clever, its not deep. Its the shiniest flashiest candy wrapper with absolutely nothing inside. The show is flimsy weak and empty but hey, tits and a bar fight with a leprechaun. Love the podcast, a shame you’re chained to this lamedick show for the rest of the season. Cant wait for you guys to watch literally anything else.

The King Bee

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